I found these jokes recently:
What did Michelangelo say to the ceiling? I got you covered.
Did you hear about the guy who stole all those paintings? He tried to brush it off but I think he was framed.
A gentleman visits a museum. Suddenly he stops and says to the guide:
“Ah, it’s ugly!”
“I beg your pardon” says the Guide “It is a Picasso!”
Further on, he exclaims again:
“Ah! It’s really ugly!”
“That, Sir, is a mirror!” exclaims the Guide.
You must be an Artist if:
The highlights in your hair are from your palette, not Clairol,
You are having lunch with the girls and the fragrance you wear is eau d’linseed, not eau de parfum.
You butter your toast with your fingers, just to feel it’s texture.
You bought paint, instead of food.
You draw your letters instead of writing them.
You like to get plastered and paint the town red.
You purchase a ton of books….with blank pages.
You know what shade of green the lichen on the trees is.
You can’t find a nice outfit for your date because everything has paint smears on it.
You date ends up with paint smears on him/her.
When viewing a sunset, you think in terms of cadmium yellow, alizarin crimson, violet and tinted teal mixed with yellow ochre for the water.
There are Prussian blue fingerprints on your phone.
here to edit.
I live and work in Slough area and am available for commissions. I work in acrylic, pastel, pen and ink, oils, watercolours, encaustic art (hot wax) and other mixed media.